It's been a difficult time for us here at DanielRaven.com. A minor administrative error – never mind whose – which may or may not have led to a certain important invoice going unpaid has had unexpectedly far-reaching consequences for the whole site, inasmuch as it has now been completely removed from the internet and thrown away.
Yes, all of it! But never fear – our own back-up files remain untainted, and our talented team of IT 'Wizards' is already working right around the clock to get the site back 'On-Line' as soon as is humanly possible.
Customers seeking bespoke text solutions can still contact us with their requirements using the dan@danielraven.com alias. Send a blank email with 'subscribe' in its subject heading to receive a notification as soon as everything's back to normal.
In the meantime, here is a poem.
Findus Hamways, or Find Us Hamways
Resident Hamways!
Frozen into life!
The rolled-up trouserleg on the moon-bit shore
Scuffles with genial abandon.
Mortal pain never suffered
Extracts throttle fortitude, and
Soon to inherit their shimmering monument,
He swoons amid flowering tissues.
Pristine Harmways
Fluent in the musty parlour;
Waiting for the noon-chime in a doll's armchair
While morning dawdles.
Forgiven before the fact
And treated to the point of bloating,
We heed Morse thunderclap from baby rattle
And rise to meet empty plates.
Immaculate Pamways
Hoping to imply a creamy frosting
And trifling with deluded pamphleteers
Where the liquid sample is placed.
The truth sails by, unheeding;
The crowd on the shore grins and faints;
No thoughtful enterprise can now disturb
The scattered inklings in its wake.
Intensive Farmways
Unclothed in its frightful mind;
Looming over the park at dawn,
Correcting the birds' pronunciation.
You flew south for the winter
Without handing over the microfilm;
Your seminar group cried itself to sleep
The night you sang on the radio.
Congregational Shamways
Assemble in the darkened cathedral forecourt;
Still peeping into the foolish mist,
Intent on discovering gaberdine.
The Cardinal sighs as they file inside
To shun the newborn manatee
Before it sweats like some chi-chi cheese
In seasons of russet-glib boutique.
President Hamways
Crouching in peach-stained overalls;
An unseen gloat in the abandoned Branch Office
Blocks the gangway without compunction.
And this year of gnawing
Was never meant to end
It had to be got rid of...
BONUS EXCLUSIVE! For a limited time only you may also hear this fine work, as recited by its author in an unexpectedly nasal voice with musical backing (vibes, sobbing etc.) from the mighty Sam Cook of Project Uh-Oh. It's here!
